It took me a while to accept that the name of Shaman of Brighton was right for me. When you are a healer you often find times doubting your path. Am I truly helping people, what do others think of my abilities, am I genuine, are all questions that from time to time will pop into your mind and make you question everything that you have become.
There are no guidelines on how you should behave as a healer, everyone does it their own way, but there are levels of authenticity that people look for when they want to work with a healer, and I am certainly one of those people.
I used to be very much focused on the training a healer has received. What do they know? How authentic is their path? What can they offer me in terms of my healing? Over time, I have come to learn that when you are destined to receive from a specific healer, then you are meant to receive what they have to offer, even if it’s to learn that they’re not the healer for you.
A client with a powerful history
This was never more apparent than when I was working for a premium retreat centre in Ibiza and got a brief for a new client. The client was an incredible woman who was married to a billionaire and they had travelled the world, going to all the top wellness centres, healing retreats and sitting in ceremonies with world-renowned healers and medicine space holders.
Not only that she was the author of a book, in which she had been granted permission to visit a remote tribe in the Amazon, a tribe which few people have ever been allowed to visit, and spent time in ceremony with these truly magical shamans.
So who was I to work with a woman like that? I was just an English guy, an ex-marketing director turned healer, who had learnt most of my lessons from an English teacher who studied with true shamans. At the time, I had not learnt directly from shamans in the depths of the jungle. I had taken most of my teachings from books, from online courses, from face-to-face training weeks with powerful and incredible shamans in the UK, but I wasn’t a medicine man of the jungle, and certainly would not consider myself a shaman.
All these self-limiting doubts bubbled to the surface and made me question why she would be coming to me. I know that when you work in ceremony with anyone you are both there for a reason. You both have a lesson to learn, and this was mine. You heal in others that which you heal in yourself, and you both share a symbiotic moment in time and threads from that moment.
The gift received by the Shaman of Brighton
It was this ceremony that allowed me to truly step into my power and discover my true self, to know that no matter what path has led people to me, they were meant to receive my ceremony. She came to me and we journeyed together to a place she had never been before, reporting sights and encounters that were truly powerful, we worked with incredible spirits and afterwards, she said she had never had an experience like it, that it was incredibly powerful and deeply moved her.
There was never any need to worry about my abilities, her past or what we would do together. The universe brought us together on that day to do the work we were both meant to do. To give us both the lessons we needed in order to move forward, onward and upwards to reach new levels in our own power.
I was so incredibly blessed to work with her and will never forget our experience. It gave me so much more than I realised at the time, and I will forever cherish the gift of knowing that no matter how powerful or not you feel, those who seek you out, those who come to you for healing, you are both destined to sit and work together.
Do you seek self-worth?
If you are struggling to see the power in your own abilities, or finding it hard to truly value who you are and what you do, whether as a healer, a mother, a father, a friend or simply as you, then you are not alone. I spent many years questioning who I was, and why I was doing the things I was doing at the time.
I spent hours hating the person I had become, even the person I had been since a child. I was filled with self-loathing and would never accept that anyone could ever love me. Even though I was always surrounded my love I never felt worthy of it, or that I deserved it, and eventually the truly would come out and I would be left alone again.
I struggled in my early years with addictions, especially sex, often indulging in sex I didn’t want, simply because I could, or because I was overwhelmed with the urge for it. It took me many years of healing, soul searching, deep meditation and transformation to truly find myself and learn to begin to love myself.
I have always struggled to truly love myself, no matter how much I am told I am worthy and deserve love. It has become a large part of my journey and as part of that I have created the below meditation to help others to sit in meditation with the intention to find love for oneself. This is a meditation I personally listen to often and found it very powerful as part of my transformation and self-love journey.
I hope you find it useful, be sure to listen to it as often as you feel you need it.